Reality

Julia has been on a book frenzy lately. She loves to read...and read....and read. Usually the first book she brings me is "There's a Wocket in my Pocket". Today I wanted to just sit in the rocking chair and rock her and sing to her (because I knew she was getting tired) but she had other plans and grabbed a book instead. The book she grabbed is "Love You Forever". I've always loved reading it but today I couldn't help shed a few tears as we read and sang together. Luckily, Julia didn't notice her mom sobbing at the end of the book because she was asleep by then.

If you haven't read it you are missing out. When I got to the end where the son is rocking the mother who was very old and tired and sang to her I got to thinking about my own mom. I'm not sure she'd appreciate me posting this so soon after the news but I figured I could save this as a post I can publish later if I need to. My mom recently found out she has breast cancer. The doctors found the lump was rather small so we were all hoping for the best, knowing that the possibility of it being malignant was very real, yet hoping it would be easy to get rid of. After more tests they found that it was Carcinoma Cancer and that it was invasive, meaning it wasn't in just one spot and had spread. How far it has spread is unknown until they are able to do surgery and find out. That should take place sometime next week. My mom is very optimistic about it all, which makes me feel very optimistic but there's a 15% chance that my mother will not be around in the next five years. Wow. Just typing that hurts. I'm too selfish. I need, NEED my mom around longer than that. I need her longer than five years even. I hear about people my age losing their grandparents. I can't help but feel that it's not fair. I'm not supposed to lose my mom, yet.

The reality is that I haven't lost her. And based on her attitude she's not going anywhere. Her new outlook on life is that she's making every day special and enjoying it all. I'm looking forward to tomorrow where our family will be taking part in a special fast for my mom. I truly believe there's a power in prayer and fasting. I've seen it work for my family upon many occasions. I know that my mom will be ok with whatever happens. She's just that kind of woman. I know that I will be able to accept and deal with whatever happens too because of her example. I'm grateful for the Plan of Salvation and that I am sealed to my parents so when the day does come that we have to say goodbye on this earth it's not the end for us. I'm not saying it will be easy to say goodbye but I'm saying it will be possible. It's so much easier being a member of the church when it comes to peace and comfort in times like these.

So in conclusion, the reality is this:

Mom:

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

My mommy you'll be.